So here I am, 9 months out of surgery…can’t believe it’s been that long already. I look in the mirror everyday trying to see something different and it’s weird. Almost surreal. I see the shape of my face has changed entirely, the collarbone that I never noticed before. I can tell that my clothes fit differently, the sizes are all wrong. But the rest, I have a hard time with. I struggled over the past month being stuck at a number, trying to remind myself it’s just a number, it’s my health that’s more important. But I’m not going to lie, that is a hard mental block to overcome.
In 9 months I have lost over 90 pounds. I have lost over 68% of my body weight. That’s fucking incredible. I know it is. I wish I could be as impressed with it when I looked at myself as when I thought about it. Right now, I see a girl that needs to do more.
Maybe it’s because my clothes don’t fit right, they are still to big. So I can’t appreciate how far I’ve come. Maybe it’s because I rely too much on the numbers instead of on how I feel. Maybe it’s because I just haven’t fully learned how to love me yet. I’m working on it.
130 pouns down since last year. Thats a whole person. I know in my heart how much I’ve acheived. I think it’s time to take some new pictures to show myself just how far I’ve come.
Have you struggled with this? Let me know your story.
Here we are, six months out (ok ok, a week or so past but I’ve been busy) and things are doing well. Went to the doctor and I don’t think I have ever smiled that much in my entire life. Or been called a Rockstar. Or told that I was a Superstar. So here is the scoop folks.
Six Months Post Op – 80 Pounds down! 120 Pounds down since I started to program in January 2016!!! That is craziness!!!! And AMAZING!!!!!!
59% of my excess body weight lost and my BMI has gone from 53 to 39. That’s 9 away from where the doc wants me to be. All in all, I think this is all such very good news.
In other news, my doc and I have discussed not only the fact that there is the eventuality of skin surgery. And that is something that excites and frightens me on so many different levels. TO know that all the hard work I am putting in would finally show on the outside is something that is so amazing to me. The fact that it is another surgery is something that is a little daunting but nothing more than being afraid of the dark is anymore. I have put the effort into everything I have done, this is just a step to help show my hard work.
We also discussed the fact that we have to take care of the two hernias that have occurred since surgery. I went in for a CAT scan and it came back with…Yupp, you have two hernias. There is a chance that he is going to take care of them before the insurance clears him to do my skin surgery. It is still unclear if he can go in without completely opening me up, but I’m hoping that I won’t have too many battle scars. At least I know that my scars will be well worn the battle that I went through for them.
As for my weight loss progress, my doctor has no goal weight for me. He just wants me healthy. He wants my BMI down to 30. I always thought my goal weight should be down to 140lb due to my height and things I have read. I never figured out an ideal size because I haven’t been smaller than a 14 in so many years, I don’t know what that would be like. I just know I still have a road ahead of me.
I still have to work on getting enough protein in my body. I am working on tracking my food and my exercise. I am working on getting more exercise every day. I have been getting more water in my body than I usually do. I am taking steps each day to reach my goals.
Let me know how you guys are doing!!!
A Facebook memory threw me for a loop today. A year ago I was so proud to fit into a size 26. Now I am over 110 pounds lighter and 10 sizes smaller. It is astounding to me to look at these photos and let it all sink in.
I have been sitting at a stall in losing for over two weeks and feeling quite diwn. I work out regularly, I’ve been keeping to a pretty steady diet and I don’t know where to shake it up. Do I add more protien, more veggies, tweak my routine? All these things need to be taken into account along with my state of mind. I am pushing myself in so many directions that I need to refocus myself on what’s vest for me. Undo stress and pressure aren’t helping me reach my goals. It’s time to stop letting self doubt and negativity creep in.
I’ve come so far and my journey forward is going to continue to be so rewarding.
It’s been four months since surgery and I want to say my life has been flipped completely around. But life continues to flow as if nothing has changed. Things are different of course but life is life.
I feel different than I did a year ago, my energy is back, I can walk, stand and play with my kids. I can cross my legs. My breathing isn’t stunted. I am 108 pounds lighter than I used to be. My outlook is sunnier.
I have lost 61 pounds since surgery. That is a huge amount of weight and I am proud of it. But each time I think of numbers, I think I should be doing more. Losing more. Then I realize I am judging myself and being silly. I am amazing in my own right, look how far I’ve come.
I have finally been able to go back to the gym. I got really sick after New Years and it slowed me down a lot. I lost my motivation for awhile and it brought me to a really low place. I’m getting back in touch with my goals and what I really want to do to achieve them.
I definitely need new clothes. I’ve realized, living in clothes that don’t fit on my body makes me feel trapped. It makes me feel like I don’t belong. Ugly and horrid on the outside when I’ve fought so hard to feel better.
So I guess life is different. I’m pushing through. Time is on my side. Life and all its magic are too.
HW – 356 SW -309 CW – 248
Go team me💖
100 Pounds…100 POUNDS!!!!
That blows my mind. I can’t even fathom it and yet here it is. Proof in the photo, just like that. I’ve done it, I’ve lost 100 pounds. I couldn’t believe it this morning, bleary eyed on the scale. But there it was. I was so excited and I didn’t understand the whole scale selfie thing until that moment. I’ve worked so hard for so long and finally, it’s happened. Like a whole years worth of burdens off of my shoulders. I’ve lost an entire person. A person I held onto for much too long. Weighing me down, making me so unhappy. But that’s in the past now and the future is so bright I can feel it’s sparkle shine on my face. Look out world, I’M HERE!!!
The last #facetofacefriday of the year and I am looking at how far I’ve come.
95 pounds down in 1 year. 95 pounds!!!
Starting weight -356 pounds
Current weight – 261 pounds
Sleeved – 9/26/2016
2016 has been quite a journey for me. Earth shattering lows that I thought I couldn’t possibly survive brought me more strength than I could ever imagine. This year has been a year of self discovery, change and learning how important #selflove really is. I have learned how important it is to look inside yourself and find your #innerstrength . I have found out how important it is to have a strong support system and surround yourself with the people that really care. As much as 2016 hurt it has made me that much more empowered. I am a #strongwoman a #proud #singlemom and looking forward to taking on 2017.
Here’s to next year. A more fabulous me than I already am. Here’s to working hard, living life and sparkle thoughts. I can do it and so can you!
#motivation #lifegoals #verticalsleevegastrectomy #vsgcommunity #vsg #sleevelife
So much joy and love surrounds us and so much temptation. This is my first holiday season trying to fight the temptation around me. This is my first holiday season to do it alone. Don’t get me wrong, I have the greatest support system in the world. But my world, my kids, the motivation in NY life, aren’t around. So this has been tough.
I look at it this way. As temptation to completely slip up surrounds me, I know in the end I cannot go back to where I used to be. I look at pictures of myself from a year ago and see how far I’ve come. I will never let myself fall back onto my old ways.
I have a doctor’s appointment for the first time in a while on Wednesday. I get to see if I have reached my goal of losing 100lbs this year. All the temptations have made it super hard but I have been working my but off. Keeping to what I can and only worrying a put the fact that I haven’t yet made myself a meal planning guru.
I wish you all the love and light this holiday season