Category: dieting

Week 2 post op

Well, there is no weigh in this week but I totally wanted to give you an update on everything that has gone on 🙂 

So we are just a little over 2 weeks out of surgery and life is going on. I am on full liquids now meaning yogurts and puddings and such. Trying to get in 60 to 80 grams of protien in and at least 64oz of water. When you have a tiny sleeve it is super hard to fit that much into a day. I have gotten very sick of my protien shakes and have started to try other things. I picked up some Premier Protien caramel drinks, which are 30grams of protien and taste pretty good just alone. They are a thicker liquid so they stay in my sleeve longer, they take me about an hour or so to drink a whole one but it’s worth it. I also have progressed myself a little faster to a little bit of a thicker liquid almost bordering on puree. I am not supposed to be starting on purees until Saturday,  but they are getting me full and my protien goals are getting met easier. I have also found myself with less pain and more energy this way. I am not advancing myself any quicker than this though. Sticking it out with purees until I am ready for soft foods, which won’t be until the end of the month.

Now let’s talk about the other stuff. Mentally I am exhausted. I have found it really hard to keep up with the process of healing and trying to keep on top of everuthing. I realize I can not yet handle everything I was doing before surgery, logically it makes sense, but I am still pushing myself to try. I also find myself stressing out over the little things. I wasn’t expecting an instant change but now that it is all said and done I don’t know what to expect. I sit here everyday and I’m wondering what is going to happen next. My support system is so big but I hardly have anyone around to physically hold my hand through this rollercoaster of emotions. I have been feeling very alone lately. I am trying to push through this. I know everything will be ok. I could just really use a hug.

The motivation is there. The drive is there. I am focused. I know things are going to great. This is just a bump. I got this.

More to come!

Sparkle thoughts!!

5 Days Till Surgery!!!!!!

Hey ya’ll! So I am 5 days away from surgery and starting day 6 of my preop liquid diet. On Monday my doc gave me the go ahead on change protein powders as long I was still having 5 shakes a day. I settled into the Syntrax Nectar brand. The shakes are yummy, they have TONS of flavors, they mix well with water and I am LOVING them. Don’t get me wrong. They are nothing compared to real food, but EVERYTHING  compared to the shakes I was drinking. My favorite is the chocolate truffle. It kinda tastes like Yoohoo and as a kid that grew up on that stuff I definitely approve!!! Also, my trainer told me that my program would restart when I came back after surgery so I wouldn’t miss out on anything! She totally came through for me. She keeps making me feel so motivated and like she wants to help me with this journey. It’s nice to have someone that really believes in me. Specially when it’s someone whom I’d never think would. Yes that’s me being self dericating. I’ll stop right now!

So these are my running stats so far. (Highest weight, current weight) HW-356 CW-308 Wooohoooo!!! Haven’t seen that number in quite some time. So color me surprised this morning. Doing ok hungry wise but emotionally and physically I am just drained. When you realize that one of your coping skills is eating and that’s taken from you, it leaves you feeling very scared and empty. But I pushed through and today’s another day. Physically everything is just draining, I’m just sleepy all of the time. So if I don’t get back to you right away. You know why. Sparkle sparkle!!!

10 days till surgery. 10 day liquid diet…OY VEY!

Day 1 preop diet

I may go crazy. Or cry. Or a little bit of both. I definitely cried today. The Bariatric Advantage meal replacement shakes are slimy and make me feel super nauseous. I am supposed to have 5 a day and managed to choke down 3. I kept super hydrated but wish I had called the doc and asked him what I could do about the shakes.

I got some good advice from my support group. Tomorrow I try ice, cocoa powder and a blender. Broth helps not in the shakes of course but to help me feel filled up. Jello just adds to the texture factor, texture is good. 

My head is thribbing. I’m told it is from carb withdrawl. It’s something man. Carbs, sugar, caffine…I screwed the pooch not weaning myself off sooner. I’m exhausted and in pain. I keep trying to look towards the outcome, think happy thoughts but my brain is echoing so loud..it’s hard.
Here’s to a better day tomorrow!!!

Counting Down to SURGERY!!! (And all the crazy that comes with it!)

HI! It’s been awhile! I know I know accountability but I have been super busy trying to get everything squared away before surgery. In  fact I all but pinky swore to my trainer I’d be at the gym sipping a smoothie and posting this blog about 10 hours ago… but life got in the way. So now there’s slightly stale twizzlers, water and semi awake me.SO MUCH TO FILL YA’LL IN ON! let’s break it down this way. Medical news, food news, work out news and thoughts and feelings somewhere in there after? Good? Good! Glad we’ve got this somewhat figured out!

Ok so, my sleeve gastrectomy, will take place on Monday September 26th. Two months after my birthday. I am so stoked. My insurance cleated, my labs are done and I met with my doc today. First of all its great to have a good looking doc, nice to know the last face you’ll see will be a good one. But it’s hell thinking about shaving your legs beforehand. He filled me in on all the complications and so forth. He showed me where my scars would be. But the busses to thing I took out of there was a dose of confidence in what I was doing. He told me that he was proud of me, of all the progress I made since I walked through his doors. Of how hard I have fought to get where I am and how he knows that I am going to succeed. I am so damn lucky to have that kind of support from my doc. He also told me that my hospital stay may be considerably longer than I thought, which has its finer moments and is terrifying because I’m really nervous about pain. Sucks part, I have to take off all my gel and pretty nails. It’s a hospital rule…bare tiny cabbage hands it is I guess. So I left the office today two vial of blood lighter, stocked to the hills with meal replacement shakes and with a level of enthusiasm I can’t even describe.

Let me give you the low down on what is in store for me. Start Friday I am on a totally restrictive, doctor controlled 11 day pre-op diet. See all the rules on my paper. Yup can’t break em. I need to drink horrid shakes, which hopefully I can convince myself are lattes and go through caffine and sugar detox. Now why didn’t I stop sugar and caffine. Well I’m a single mom if two, there are some things you just don’t give up till you absolutely have to. Doc told me I was going to be miserable for at least 3 days while I detox, but other than that just generally weaker and I will drop a bunch of weight. Which is the point…weight, detox, shrink liver. All these things make surgery better. So I came up with a plan when I found out my date and decided I needed to eat ALL THE FOOD. By this I mean stuff I don’t know if I’ll be able to palate for a long time if ever with the Sleeve. So far I’ve knocked out tons of Starbucks, chinese, mexican, tacos bell  (yes they are different, bbq, hamburgers, steak, shrimp and pizza. Thursday is my all hail sushi day! And tomorrow, well I have no clue actually. All I know is I need to buy stuff for quick meals for the kids while I’m detoxing because cooking may be no fun right away.

So I joined a gym. This part may be a little short but it’s important. I joined one for me to get my life back in order. T. tone my mind body and soul. That same day I got the call about surgery. So I met my super awesome (and hot) trainer and had to tell her working out was a no go. Which the doc agreed with today. The thing was, was that she was just happy to be part of my journey with me and is planning on helping me reach my goals. And that is the part that really hit home. She seriously almost made me cry. 

Thoughts and feelings are a big part of my life always but especially right now. I’ve been up and down all week. I’m squishing all the appointments I can in before I lose the ability to drive for a week or two. I’m excited, OVER The MOON HAPPY at how far I’ve come and what’s happening. I deserve it. I’m starting a whe new book in this anthology we call life. I’m also a little sad. I started this journey a long time ago with someone who vowed to be by my side and now their face won’t be the first one I see when I wake up. The fact that this is all going be happening on my own is scary. I have my mom and my step dad whom I love and appreciate for helping me. I have a vast array of support all over the world via online and I  person. But I guess there’s just part of me inside still healing. And that’s ok. I have to remind myself that it’s ok. That all that im going through is going  to far outweigh what I’ve been through.

I promise a lot more updates to come. Especially on how my diet is going, how the shakes taste and my final countdown. 

Throw me a message, let me know how your countdown went

Xoxo 

SURGERY SCHEDULED!!!!

Insurance approval!!! Surgery SCHEDULED!!!! 

Good morning! So here’s the scoop-

18 days till surgery (yes I will be counting, it could become very annoying. Sorrynotsorry ahead of time)

7 days left to eat all the food! What I mean by that is, I have 7 days before I go on a very strict liquid only pre-op diet. After surgery, not only will I not be able to eat regularly for a while but my body won’t be able to handle certain foods. So in the next 7 days there are certain things I want to enjoy for maybe the last time. I’m not going crazy bingey, but there are some things i want. EVERYONE who can and wants to is welcome to help me on this endeavor. 
People keep asking me how I’m feeling, the answer is…I’m feeling all the emotions at once. I’m excited and scared and anxious and happy and all these things keep going through my head. I am lucky to have ya’ll in my life supporting me as I take this journey. Thank you so much ❤
(longer post to come, I’m still too giddy to type)

Weighing in 9/6/2016

Well here we are a week later, ok 8 days…sue me, and I wanted to check and let you know what’s going on. So first things first. I am officially weighing in at 314 pounds! That’s 4 less than last week and I am totally stoked. I will get into what my week has been like to see where those 4 pounds went in a little but but for a moment I will revel in the victory that is mine. In celebration I have done a dance, covered myself in glitter and cut my hair. The hair thing may have been more of an I need a change mood but still, it looks cute. I will include pictures in this post once I put on my outfit from last week so we can do a comparison. 

So where shall we begin? In bariatric news, all of my paper work was submitted to the insurance company. After waiting with my breath held for a week I FINALLY got a call this morning for the nurse…the call wasn’t anything productive. According to the insurance company, they have 14 days to look over all the submitted paperwork and approve everything. They haven’t even touched it yet. So it would seem they are planning on taking the full 14 days to do so. *deep breath* That’s fine, keep on looking on the bright side, all the paperwork is in, everything is peachy, the waiting game is the worst part. 

The past week has been a mixture of eventful and emotional. There was a huge change to our routine being that school just began. Uniforms had to be laid out, wakes up were earlier, walking back and forth started again. Regular meals on a schedule started again. The willy nilly routine flew out the window to something stricter and more productive. And it has shown. In the past 8 days I have found myself drinking more water and less sugary soft drinks. I will admit that my morning Starbucks run has started again, but I find myself justifying it with the fact that in a months time those days will be long gone, it’s a treat I afford myself and I don’t need to justify it more that that. But I do. I have a guilt complex. I have also found myself, other than the back and forth to the bus stop, walking from 30 to 60 minutes a day. Be it around a park to enjoy the day and find the perfect spot to read, wrote or blog OR be it between all the errands, appointments or running around I have to do. At the end of the night I have been tired enough to go to bed and that feels good. My muscles ache between the exercise and my fibro but I know that in the long run, this is not a bad thing.

The tool I think has helped me the most though, aside from change in eating habits, routine and exercise is tracking my food. Now just like all the naysayers, I really was one that would have ridiculed my statement by I really believe it. Taking the time to write down (well type out) what I have eaten, how much water I have drank and how much exercise I have done really puts into perspective where I am with my goals. All that I have learned from my nutritionist is set and as I plug in my food I see if I am really making the right choices for my body and what I can do differently. I have a whole virtual support team cheering me on as I hit my goals and it feels wonderful to be able to take on challenges day by day. 

Also, finding out just how much my exercising is paying off makes me feel really good. 6 hours at the Renaissance Faire makes you feel like a goddess! Going into next week I am trying to cut sodas out completely, that is my goal. Here’s to the hard part! 

Add me on My Fitness Pal and we can cheer each other on! I’m Bohemianrockchick 

Cheers,

Shaye

Weighing in 8/29/2016 (with pics!)

So I promised you and myself that I would start becoming more accountable on here and this I shall do. It took me a week to gather up my courage and with surgery coming up I thought now it’s time.

So today I weighed in at 318 pounds.it is two pounds up from what I weighed at the docs on Friday so either it’s water or I put on a lot of muscle walking around the Renaissance Faire yesterday. 

I cannot tell you how hard it was to stand still for those pictures let alone have someone take them. I refuse to cry or be embarrassed by how I look because I have already come so far from where I was when I started off. I can tell you that I wear a size 24 in pants, anywhere from XL to 2X in shirts and we won’t even talk about my boobs  (but hey if you subtract them, I bet I’d lose 5 pounds). 

I can tell you I am still scared to go to the gym but I walk a lot. I drink water like it is going out of style and gave once again started tracking my progress on My Fitness Pal (if you want to add me, it’s Bohemianrockchick). Everyday I make more progress toward my goals, progress toward my NSV’S and progress towards a healthier life. 

Next weigh-in in one weeks time 🙂

Bariatric Update – LAST Class!!!

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So on Friday I had my last nutrition class at my bariatric office. It consisted mainly of telling us pretty and post op procedures and dieting guidelines. I also found out what’s going on with my surgery date.So first things first – Surgery…What happens is usually they put all the paperwork through to the insurance. Once it clears you have your final appointment with the surgeon and your paper. You get your date that day. The snafu in my paperwork hit because my pulmonary doc retired before my followup and they never got a written clearance from the new doc (even though I was cleared). Soooo…they need to get the clearance, then push the papers, then things will be in order. Usually insurance takes from two days to two weeks to approve everything…They have never had a patient with my insurance before, so who knows how long it will take! It’s a had pill to swallow, I’ve come so far to just hurry up and wait.

Secondly my class – So it was pretty standard in what we go through for the surgery ( I’m going to go into a lot of depth in a separate post).  We have to buy the 10 day meal supplement through them for the 10 days before surgery. It is going to be a liquid diet and I already know I am going to be cranky. We did a taste test if the Bariatric Advantage meal supplement shakes since that is what we are paying the big bucks for…I am not excited. They taste somewhere between chalk and sludge and though tolerable, I am aware it is going to be a very long 10 days. 

What kind of diet did you have to go on before surgery? How long did you have to wait?

Weighing in on weighing in

I know, I know I broke a promise. Not only to you my loyal readers but to myself. I promised that I would hold myself accountable everyday. I promised I would update you in my journey, not only for you but for me too. To see where I was, how far I have come and what I’m running towards. Tonight I don’t come here with excuses or justifications, though I thought up a whole batch of them before I typed this out. I came here with the truth. The reason why there have been far fewer updates than I promised, no pictures and less content than I wanted all boils down to one word….Fear.


That’s right, I’m afraid. I sit behind my computer screen or on my phone everyday, just after I weigh myself and  watch the cursor blink. 5 billion thoughts come to mind and I can’t put them down, simply put, because I am afraid. I’m afraid of judgement and not by you but because I judge myself. Far be it from me to say I have done everything in my power to be in the best physical shape I can be right now. I haven’t. I walk as much as the weather, my health and my state of mind let me. I eat or at least try to eat 3 meals a day and keep healthy snacks around. I drink tons of water and managed to get my soda down to one a day. I quit smoking. I’m pretty fucking proud of myself. But the numbers on the scale haven’t moved.

I know in my heart NSV’S are the best kind of victories and I try to celebrate them. But trying to get my motivation up when the numbers on the scale bobble between 7 pounds is really hard. I know I’m trying, I know surgery isn’t that far away….but I have this voice in the back of my mind that I try to ignore. That negative Nancy that tells me it’s all for naught. So I don’t post my progress, because to me I’m stuck, not progressing. I figure no one wants to see that.

As I write this I realize how childish I sound. I realize that if I were my best friend I would tell myself to put on that selfish outfit and start snapping a weekly pic. That I deserve to show off my journey. That I have come do far. I know it all starts from within and lately I haven’t been practicing loving the self within. But I have decided to turn the page. I am going to try my best to update you more regards, try out new smoothie recipies, walk more and just take care of me. I want to hear your stories on your journey down this path

 Feel free to write me. Let’s take this one step at a time!

Together!