Day 1 – Love Your Life in 30 Days

​So I signed up for this website and on it I found many interesting, wonderful and inspirational things. On it there’s this program to Love Your Life in 30 Days. There’s a FB group and notebook you can get to help you in your journey. I thought, why the hell not, what else have I got to lose? I have come so far from where I was a year ago, let’s go even further. 

I signed up for the group and introduced myself, told my story and posted my before and after pics. Over 600 likes and 220 comments later and I was blown away by the kinds, wisdom and support of strangers willing to take a chance on a girl whose words they just read on a screen. In lieu of the notebook I decided to blog my journey over the next 30 and share what I learn with you. If you feel so inclined, join me on this adventure, tell me how you’re doing, fill me in. I wish you luck, love and sparkles going into the next 30 Days 💖

DAY 1: TODAY write down at least 5 general areas of your life that you want to create change in and develop over the next year. 
Keeping your goals for change general is powerful because it gives the Universe power to orchestrate the details and figure out “how” your goals can manifest in the best way possible. On Day 3 you will have the chance to “dress up” these generalities with the juicy details that excite you!
Here are some examples of general areas for change: 

– Happiness

– Health

– Love

– Friendship

– Creativity

– Spirituality

– Adventure

– Abundance

My goals for change in the next year are as follows –

1. Health

2. Happiness

3. Abundance

4. Creativity

5. Adventure

There are goals within each of these goals that I think fit together. Some of these goals as I obtain them will, I believe, work together. But those are my top 5 goals for this upcoming year. 

Let’s see what tomorrow brings ☺



Last Weigh-in of 2016

​The last #facetofacefriday of the year and I am looking at how far I’ve come. 

95 pounds down in 1 year. 95 pounds!!!

Starting weight -356 pounds

Current weight – 261 pounds

Sleeved – 9/26/2016

2016 has been quite a journey for me. Earth shattering lows that I thought I couldn’t possibly survive brought me more strength than I could ever imagine. This year has been a year of self discovery, change and learning how important #selflove really is. I have learned how important it is to look inside yourself and find your #innerstrength . I have found out how important it is to have a strong support system and surround yourself with the people that really care. As much as 2016 hurt it has made me that much more empowered. I am a #strongwoman a #proud #singlemom and looking forward to taking on 2017.  

Here’s to next year. A more fabulous me than I already am. Here’s to working hard, living life and sparkle thoughts. I can do it and so can you!

#motivation #lifegoals #verticalsleevegastrectomy #vsgcommunity #vsg #sleevelife

Holiday Season

So much joy and love surrounds us and so much temptation. This is my first holiday season trying to fight the temptation around me. This is my first holiday season to do it alone. Don’t get me wrong, I have the greatest support system in the world. But my world, my kids, the motivation in NY life, aren’t around. So this has been tough.

I look at it this way. As temptation to completely slip up surrounds me, I know in the end I cannot go back to where I used to be. I look at pictures of myself from a year ago and see how far I’ve come. I will never let myself fall back onto my old ways. 

I have a doctor’s appointment for the first time in a while on Wednesday. I get to see if I have reached my goal of losing 100lbs this year. All the temptations have made it super hard but I have been working my but off. Keeping to what I can and only worrying a put the fact that I haven’t yet made myself a meal planning guru.

I wish you all the love and light this holiday season

Sparkle thoughts

Weighing in – Going back to the Gym

Well, it’s been a while hasn’t it? Things have been kinda dragging for me and that’s why I haven’t been around. Let’s jump right in and tell you what’s been going on. 

My stats as of today – HW – 356 SW-309 CW-265 

I have lost 91 pounds in total and 44 pounds since surgery

I hit the gym today for the first time since surgery and I had a blast. I got a 3D body scan and can’t wait to see the results and then see the progress I make a few months from now. Then I got down to sweating and working out muscles I forgot I had. I haven’t felt so empowered in such a long time. I can’t even begin to explain how empowered and fabulous I feel right now.

I hit a stall for a little while a few weeks ago. I got very down hearted and didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I know I should be eating more protien and drinking more water. I sometimes wonder how anyone has enough hours in the day to do all that. I need to get better at meal planning and squeeze more water in. I never feel hungry or thirsty but I need to work it out and make it happen. I can do this. I am strong enough and have it in me. I have been tracking my progress on My Fitness Pal. (Always happy to be a support for anyone who needs a buddy). 

I know have been steadily losing weight, I am super proud of how far I’ve come, even though I think I could have come further by now. Self sabotage has always been a key factor in my dismantling. But I have been fighting my way through my mental blocks in plodding along. I have hit a point where I have to push through the self invalidation of “you’ve come so far but you could be further along” or “you have been eating exactly what you should but you had that ONE slip and that ruined EVERYTHING”. I know those thoughts happen, I have to learn to just let them pass over me and no let them bog me down or judge them. I am doing amazing, I just have to keep working on my positive self talk. It’s easier said than done.

Almost at the 3 month mark. I can’t wait to see what’s around the next corner. Coming Sunday. Strength training! Wooohooo!!!!

6 weeks post op

Has it really been 6 weeks? Well now it is a little more like 7 and I realize I haven’t given you much of an update lately. Life has been a little crazy. Holidays coming up, starting to eat real food (YAY!) and I just got back from a life changing experience at Rhode Island Comic Con. (For more about that feel free to check out my other blog Under the Guise of Glitter) But here we are 6 weeks out and I feel like it is time to fill you in on a little bit of what is going on. So first of all. Stats. I know I just posted these but what the heck, for those of you who haven’t seen them HW – 356 SW – 309 CW – 275 Which brings it to 81 pounds lost since I started my journey and 34 pounds lost since surgery. Pretty spiffy ey? I think so! I am pretty fucking proud of myself. Current sizes are a size 20 jeans, way down from the size 28 that I wore into that operating room and somewhere between a large and xl shirt. I still have quite a big chest but as I learned from when I had my lap band surgery. My chest really doesn’t go away that quickly.

Surgical update – My doctor is super happy at all the weight I have lost. Especially since I was on mega restriction not only because of healing time but also because of the two hernias that were found just after I had my sleeve done. He has decided to wait on the hernia surgery. He has said that with more weight off, hernia surgery would be easier and put less stress on my body. He has also said, the more weight I lose, the closer to skin surgery that I would be getting so he would be able to do both surgeries at once and not have to put me under twice. Honestly, I am hoping that I won’t need skin surgery. I dig scars but not that much. But here is hoping that I am able to knock off lots of weight and keep up the progress. The best news. I CAN GO BACK TO THE GYM!!!!!!! No crazy lifting because he doesn’t want me to hurt a hernia but I can go work out, which will help get rid of this weight and help make me feel more like a person again. THANK THE STARS!!!!!!

All the other stuff – The rest of my life is falling into place. With the support from my closest friends, I am pushing through all of the sadness. It helps that I will be able to be a functioning part of society again. With the restrictions lifted I actually feel like I can accomplish things which help. I do not have an ugly surgery having over my head at the moment. I got to spend a weekend away from all the scary stuff and stress and really just feel out who I was again which helped tremendously. I have also realized that I really just need to get rid of the clothes that don’t fit. As a bigger girl, I hid away in bigger clothes, I realize as the pounds come off the baggy clothes just make me feel ugly. Like I am hiding from what I used to be. I still have a hard time cooking in the mirror and I don;t know when that will change. I haven’t come to love my scars yet and there are still days where I question what I did. Not because I hate my decision but because the numbers on the scale don’t change. I have not stalled per say but I have to remember that it is inches, not pounds or sometimes it is water my body is holding onto. Keeping track of what I eat, how much I drink and what I am doing…It is all hard but all a part of life at least in these early stages and there are days I question if I am up to it. I now I am. I know I am doing all the right things and I am proud of how far I have come. My journey is still in its infantdom, I have so much more left in this marathon. I can’t wait to see where the next few steps take me.

Sparkle thoughts


Non Scale Victory!

​In showing off my awesome shirt today I realized a few things.

1. It fits! When I bought it, I couldn’t squeeze myself into it and now it fits quite nicely

2. It has been a long time since I took a body pic and felt comfortable enough to share it with the world and I must say, I think I look pretty darn good

3. Alan Rickman is still very much missed and adored in this girls soul