Weighing in 9 months out

So here I am, 9 months out of surgery…can’t believe it’s been that long already. I look in the mirror everyday trying to see something different and it’s weird. Almost surreal. I see the shape of my face has changed entirely, the collarbone that I never noticed before. I can tell that my clothes fit differently, the sizes are all wrong. But the rest, I have a hard time with. I struggled over the past month being stuck at a number, trying to remind myself it’s just a number, it’s my health that’s more important. But I’m not going to lie, that is a hard mental block to overcome.

In 9 months I have lost over 90 pounds. I have lost over 68% of my body weight. That’s fucking incredible. I know it is. I wish I could be as impressed with it when I looked at myself as when I thought about it. Right now, I see a girl that needs to do more. 

Maybe it’s because my clothes don’t fit right, they are still to big. So I can’t appreciate how far I’ve come. Maybe it’s because I rely too much on the numbers instead of on how I feel. Maybe it’s because I just haven’t fully learned how to love me yet. I’m working on it. 

130 pouns down since last year. Thats a whole person. I know in my heart how much I’ve acheived. I think it’s time to take some new pictures to show myself just how far I’ve come.

Have you struggled with this? Let me know your story. 


Author: Under the Guise of Glitter

Shaye is a stylistic editor and freelance photographer in Lancaster PA. Though growing up in New York gave her a wide perspective of life, being a gypsy finally made her plant her root where the air is fresh and so is the food. She is the Mommy of two wonderful kiddos. An Autism advocate and a green-tea-aholic. Self proclaimed geek, bookworm, pansexual and lover of everything that glitters. Currently she is trying to live out her dreams while writing of her life, love and loss.

2 thoughts on “Weighing in 9 months out”

  1. Wow at losing 68% of your body weight! That’s an astounding accomplishment!! Congrats!

    Did you take any “before” pictures? Do you have any of yourself that you can compare side-by-side with a current picture? That is my #1 motivator!! I did monthly front, back, side photos for the first several months and now do them every 3 or 6 months. Even when the scale hasn’t changed much (if it all) there’s often a visible difference in photos that makes me feel amazing.

    Along those lines, did you take “before” measurements? Those are great to compare too, especially your waist measurement which will be drastically different now! I’m also a fan of comparing blood lab results and other things like blood pressure or resting heart rate. Huge indicators of how far you’ve come!

    I’d also highly recommend tossing out every single bit of clothing that you own that doesn’t fit right, doesn’t make you happy, is too big, is too small, isn’t comfortable, etc. I’ve done that a few times and it’s so incredibly empowering to know that you now have a choice about what you wear! I shopped at thrift stores throughout the first year and bought some really nice things for $1-$5 an item, and if even among those things if I wore something once and didn’t “love” it, out the door it went at the end of the day. Plenty more options where that came from! 🙂

    As for being “stuck” at a number… I hear ya on this. I arrived at 165-170 back in December and have stayed there for almost 7 months now. Talk about a mind game with the scale!! I’ve done everything from accepting this is just where my body needs to be or to trying to ‘diet’. How much more did your doctors say you need to lose? Are you at or almost at your goal weight?

    My goal was 175 and I passed it (just barely) and my doctors didn’t want me to lose any more at all. I have been working instead on changing my body composition (decreasing body fat/increasing muscle mass). It’s a different measure to concentrate on, especially when the scale is content where it’s at. That might be something you want to think about as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hearing ftom you always makes these days a little easier!!!! I did take a few pictures in the beginning and I have to do some comparisons shots that I haven’t done in quite a long time. The only place I see the dofference is in photographs.

      I took a few before measurements at the gym. I don’t know if they still have them, though I’m sure that they do. Those would probably be really interesting to see.

      I think it is time to go through my clothes and get rid of some tjings, everything just is too big or loose. I haven’t really taken time to go shopping for myself in a really long time.

      I haven’t gotten close to my goal weight yet , I am still about 50 pounds away. I feel like it should be going quicker, though it’s going really quick I suppose. Right?

      I appreciate everything that said. Hearing from you really helps😁

      Liked by 1 person

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