Has it really been 6 weeks? Well now it is a little more like 7 and I realize I haven’t given you much of an update lately. Life has been a little crazy. Holidays coming up, starting to eat real food (YAY!) and I just got back from a life changing experience at Rhode Island Comic Con. (For more about that feel free to check out my other blog Under the Guise of Glitter) But here we are 6 weeks out and I feel like it is time to fill you in on a little bit of what is going on. So first of all. Stats. I know I just posted these but what the heck, for those of you who haven’t seen them HW – 356 SW – 309 CW – 275 Which brings it to 81 pounds lost since I started my journey and 34 pounds lost since surgery. Pretty spiffy ey? I think so! I am pretty fucking proud of myself. Current sizes are a size 20 jeans, way down from the size 28 that I wore into that operating room and somewhere between a large and xl shirt. I still have quite a big chest but as I learned from when I had my lap band surgery. My chest really doesn’t go away that quickly.
Surgical update – My doctor is super happy at all the weight I have lost. Especially since I was on mega restriction not only because of healing time but also because of the two hernias that were found just after I had my sleeve done. He has decided to wait on the hernia surgery. He has said that with more weight off, hernia surgery would be easier and put less stress on my body. He has also said, the more weight I lose, the closer to skin surgery that I would be getting so he would be able to do both surgeries at once and not have to put me under twice. Honestly, I am hoping that I won’t need skin surgery. I dig scars but not that much. But here is hoping that I am able to knock off lots of weight and keep up the progress. The best news. I CAN GO BACK TO THE GYM!!!!!!! No crazy lifting because he doesn’t want me to hurt a hernia but I can go work out, which will help get rid of this weight and help make me feel more like a person again. THANK THE STARS!!!!!!
All the other stuff – The rest of my life is falling into place. With the support from my closest friends, I am pushing through all of the sadness. It helps that I will be able to be a functioning part of society again. With the restrictions lifted I actually feel like I can accomplish things which help. I do not have an ugly surgery having over my head at the moment. I got to spend a weekend away from all the scary stuff and stress and really just feel out who I was again which helped tremendously. I have also realized that I really just need to get rid of the clothes that don’t fit. As a bigger girl, I hid away in bigger clothes, I realize as the pounds come off the baggy clothes just make me feel ugly. Like I am hiding from what I used to be. I still have a hard time cooking in the mirror and I don;t know when that will change. I haven’t come to love my scars yet and there are still days where I question what I did. Not because I hate my decision but because the numbers on the scale don’t change. I have not stalled per say but I have to remember that it is inches, not pounds or sometimes it is water my body is holding onto. Keeping track of what I eat, how much I drink and what I am doing…It is all hard but all a part of life at least in these early stages and there are days I question if I am up to it. I now I am. I know I am doing all the right things and I am proud of how far I have come. My journey is still in its infantdom, I have so much more left in this marathon. I can’t wait to see where the next few steps take me.